分析 本文要求根據(jù)所給中文提示語,以學(xué)生會(huì)的名義寫一個(gè)書面通知,介紹演練的情況.所以要用第一人稱,注意語句擴(kuò)展,行文連貫.
【亮點(diǎn)說明】本文要點(diǎn)齊全、行文連貫.運(yùn)用了一些非常好的短語和句子為文章增色不少,如break out,survive,as follows.the guides'command,calm down,并注意了句子之間的銜接如firstly,Secondly,Above all等.
In order to help both teachers and students deal with emergencies and save ourselves in case the earthquake breaks out,an evacuation exercise will be held on the playground in our school at 2:28 pm on June 12,2010.(高分句型)
Above all,we must calm down during the evacuation exercise,avoiding pushing and stepping on each other.(高分句型)
解答 Notice
June 11,2010
Earthquake is one of the most dangerous among all natural diseases.In order to help both teachers and students deal with emergencies and save ourselves in case the earthquake breaks out,an evacuation exercise will be held on the playground in our school at 2:28 pm on June 12,2010.(高分句型)
The activity will be conducted by our schoolmaster,and the evacuation exercise is mainly about how to survive from an earthquake.We must do as follows:firstly,everyone must obey the guides'command.Secondly,everyone shall leave the classrooms in order when the alarm clock goes off.Above all,we must calm down during the evacuation exercise,avoiding pushing and stepping on each other.(高分句型)
Nothing is more important than the safety.safety first.
點(diǎn)評(píng) 應(yīng)該注意適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫,比如適當(dāng)選用表示因果、遞進(jìn)、轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞,使文章流暢、通順,并避免因反復(fù)使用句式相同的簡(jiǎn)單句而造成的單調(diào)感.(1)認(rèn)真審題,確定體裁.本文是議論文. (2)構(gòu)思要點(diǎn).根據(jù)題目要求,理解要表達(dá)的要點(diǎn).設(shè)計(jì)好文章的層次段落,考慮所用時(shí)態(tài)、人稱等,把要點(diǎn)串聯(lián)起來,構(gòu)成文章框架.(3)選詞造句,避難選易.(4)認(rèn)真檢查,避免錯(cuò)誤.仔細(xì)閱讀全文,查找是否有錯(cuò),注意時(shí)態(tài)、單詞拼寫、字母大小寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)是否有誤,句式是否正確.邏輯是否一致.
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