Question

假如你在學校舉行的英語演講比賽中獲得了好成績，將在頒獎儀式上發(fā)言，請用英語寫一篇發(fā)言稿，要點如下：
參賽目標是否實現(xiàn)
取得好成績的兩點主要原因
演講中發(fā)現(xiàn)的自己的不足之處及改進辦法
注意：1.字數120左右
2．發(fā)言稿的開頭和結尾已給出，不計入總詞數。
Good afternoon,everyone!
It is an honour for me to speak here.
                                                                                       
                                                                                       
                                                                                       
                                                                                       
Thank you !

Answer 1

Good afternoon ,everyone!
It is an honour for me to speak here.And I am excited because I have achieved my goal to come first in the contest.
Firstly,I should owe my success to my teachers and all those who helped me in the preparation for the contest.Thank you all!Secondly,my success is closely connected with my love of English.I hold that the love from the heart can really make a difference.
Anyhow,the experienceof the contest helps me understand some of my shortcomings.One of them is that my limited knowledge weakens the power of my speech.So I have determined to study harder to broaden my knowledge and learn more about the world.
Thank you !

試題分析：這是一篇發(fā)言稿，所以在語言的使用上要大眾化，動筆前，一定要認真分析要點，理解要點要表達的含義，不能遺漏要點，跑題偏題。本作文中給出的要點比較簡略,故需要充實文章內容，需要注意不要偏離文章中心。平時除了加強詞匯積累，寫作聯(lián)系以外，寫作時注意準確運用時態(tài)，上下文意思連貫，符合邏輯關系，盡量使用自己熟悉的單詞句式。
【亮點說明】范文使用了一些高級詞匯短語：owe one’s success to sb.將成功歸功于…，be closely connected with和…有密切的關聯(lián)，make a difference.有影響。 determine to do sth.決心做…，范文還使用了好的句型：I should owe my success to my teachers and all those who helped me in the preparation for the contest.這句話用了定語從句， One of them is that my limited knowledge weakens the power of my speech.這句話用了表語從句，還有文章還使用了Firstly, Secondly,這樣的關聯(lián)詞使文章更加連貫。