Question

【題目】最近 The Researchers 雜志對(duì) 2,000 人進(jìn)行調(diào)查發(fā)現(xiàn)，現(xiàn)在的年輕人走路很少，這對(duì)于他們的健康不利。現(xiàn)在請(qǐng)你把這個(gè)發(fā)現(xiàn)寫一篇英語短文 ，以提醒身邊的人們要重視運(yùn)動(dòng)， 關(guān)注健康。

短文內(nèi)容包括：

1. 研究發(fā)現(xiàn)：18-24 歲的年輕人中有四分之一平均每天步行不到 5 分鐘；

2. 原因：① 很多人把步行少歸咎于科技的發(fā)展；② 有些年輕人覺得沒有人一起散步也是步行少的一個(gè)原因；

3. 你的建議。

注意：

1. 詞數(shù) 120 左右；

2. 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

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Answer 1

【答案】Recently, a magazine called The Researchers conducted a survey among 2,000 people on their walking time. As is shown in the survey, a quarter of young adults aged between 18 and 24 walk no more than 5 minutes on an average day, which is harmful to their health. Many people blame technology development for keeping them from walking while some young people owe the inadequate walking time to the lack of companion to walk with.

To solve such a problem, I suggest that people walk more instead of taking the car or bus all the time. Moreover, it is better for people to have an extra 20-minute walk every day, which is deemed helpful to reducing the risk of many diseases.

【解析】

本篇書面表達(dá)屬于對(duì)調(diào)查發(fā)現(xiàn)的結(jié)果和原因進(jìn)行說明，進(jìn)而談自己的建議。

第一步：審題

體裁：應(yīng)用文寫作

時(shí)態(tài)：根據(jù)提示，時(shí)態(tài)應(yīng)為一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)。

結(jié)構(gòu)：總分法

總分法指把主題句作為總說。把支持句作為分說，并以這種方式安排所寫內(nèi)容。

主題句：調(diào)查發(fā)現(xiàn)，現(xiàn)在的年輕人走路很少，這對(duì)于他們的健康不利。

支持句：① 很多人把步行少歸咎于科技的發(fā)展；

② 有些年輕人覺得沒有人一起散步也是步行少的一個(gè)原因；

③你的建議。

第二步:列提綱 （重點(diǎn)詞組）

conduct /carry out a survey, on average, be harmful to, owe to,solve the problem, instead of, it’s better for sb. to do, be helpful to

第三步：連詞成句

根據(jù)提示及關(guān)鍵詞（組）進(jìn)行遣詞造句

1. Recently, a magazine called The Researchers conducted a survey among 2,000 people on their walking time.

2. A quarter of young adults aged between 18 and 24 walk no more than 5 minutes on an average day.

3. It is harmful to their health.

4. Some young people owe the inadequate walking time to the lack of companion to walk with.

5. I suggest that people walk more instead of taking the car or bus all the time.

第四步：連句成篇（銜接詞）

連句成文，注意使用恰當(dāng)?shù)倪B詞進(jìn)行句子之間的銜接與過渡，書寫一定要規(guī)范清晰，

1. As is shown in the survey, a quarter of young adults aged between 18 and 24 walk no more than 5 minutes on an average day, which is harmful to their health.

2. Many people blame technology development for keeping them from walking while some young people owe the inadequate walking time to the lack of companion to walk with.

3. To solve such a problem, I suggest that people walk more instead of taking the car or bus all the time.

4. Moreover, it is better for people to have an extra 20-minute walk every day, which is deemed helpful to reducing the risk of many diseases.

第五步：潤色修改