分析 作文要求寫一篇新聞報(bào)道.第一步,首先簡(jiǎn)單介紹活動(dòng)內(nèi)容;第二步,分層次介紹活動(dòng)的意義和好處;第三步,提出自己的建議.本篇范文內(nèi)容充實(shí),層次清楚,語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用得當(dāng).長(zhǎng)短句穿插使用,錯(cuò)落有致,是一篇不錯(cuò)的新聞報(bào)道.
亮點(diǎn)部分
Recently an activity has been going on in our school which is called"Becoming a Guardian to Protect the Environment".(高分句型)本句帶有定語(yǔ)從句
Recycling them is of great importance in terms of conserving natural resources,environment protection and human health.(高分句型) be+of+抽象名詞結(jié)構(gòu)
And we shouldn't leave the tap water running after we use it.(高分句型)running屬于現(xiàn)在分詞做賓補(bǔ)
解答 Recently an activity has been going on in our school which is called"Becoming a Guardian to Protect the Environment".(高分句型) Students are asked to hand in used batteries,newspaper and so on to get a card as a reward.I think we can benefit a lot from this activity.
Firstly,this activity will help to raise our environmental awareness and save resources.Secondly,the used batteries are harmful to the environment.Recycling them is of great importance in terms of conserving natural resources,environment protection and human health.(高分句型)
Meanwhile,we can still do a lot more to help protect the environment.For example,we should remember to turn off the light before we leave the room.And we shouldn't leave the tap water running after we use it.(高分句型)
點(diǎn)評(píng) 應(yīng)該注意適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫,比如適當(dāng)選用表示因果、遞進(jìn)、轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞,使文章流暢、通順,并避免因反復(fù)使用句式相同的簡(jiǎn)單句而造成的單調(diào)感.(1)認(rèn)真審題,確定體裁. (2)構(gòu)思要點(diǎn).根據(jù)題目要求,理解要表達(dá)的要點(diǎn).設(shè)計(jì)好文章的層次段落,考慮所用時(shí)態(tài)、人稱等,把要點(diǎn)串聯(lián)起來(lái),構(gòu)成文章框架.(3)選詞造句,避難選易.(4)認(rèn)真檢查,避免錯(cuò)誤.仔細(xì)閱讀全文,查找是否有錯(cuò),注意時(shí)態(tài)、單詞拼寫、字母大小寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)是否有誤,句式是否正確.邏輯是否一致.
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