分析 本篇書面表達(dá)屬于續(xù)寫故事.寫作時(shí)注意以下幾點(diǎn):首先仔細(xì)閱讀原來(lái)故事的內(nèi)容.原來(lái)故事主要情節(jié)為:Mac Hollan在與朋友們騎自行車去阿拉斯加時(shí),一位朋友停下來(lái)修自行車,他們鼓勵(lì)Mac一個(gè)人先騎走,說(shuō)等會(huì)就會(huì)趕上來(lái).Mac不幸遇到了一只狼,在逃生中,遇到了駕車的Paul和Beeky.Paul停車準(zhǔn)備相助,故事戛然而止.
結(jié)合所給的兩段內(nèi)容的開頭語(yǔ)可以判斷,接下來(lái)需要續(xù)寫Paul幫助Mac逃生的方法及過(guò)程.需要注意的是,本文描述的是已經(jīng)發(fā)生的故事,時(shí)態(tài)應(yīng)該使用一般過(guò)去時(shí).最后注意使用一些動(dòng)詞和形容詞,穿插一些過(guò)渡性詞語(yǔ),以使文章條理清晰,行文緊湊.同時(shí)注意書寫規(guī)范,盡量避免使用沒(méi)有把握的單詞和句子.
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】本文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊,層次分明,而且使用了多種表達(dá):without hesitation毫不猶豫;In the meanwile同時(shí);Without a second thought毫不遲疑;Finally,最后;safe and sound 平安無(wú)恙;
Mac jumped off the bicycle and jumped into the back seat of the car without hesitation.(高分句型一)
Without a second thought,Paul drove the car quickly back to find the two cyclists,only to find they were gone.(高分句型二)
Finally,though tired,they continued their way and reached Alaska,safe and sound.(高分句型三)
解答 Para1:The car abruptly stopped in front of him.Paul shouted through the window,"Get in the car quickly!"Mac jumped off the bicycle and jumped into the back seat of the car without hesitation.(高分句型一) In the meanwile,the wolf caught up.Luckily,the car's door was hard enough and Mac was safe.Beeky threw some food out of the window and Paul pressed the button of the horn to make an alert.Finally,the wolf left and disappeared."Oh my god,my friends are still repairing the bicycle!"shouted Mac.Without a second thought,Paul drove the car quickly back to find the two cyclists,only to find they were gone.(高分句型二)
Para2:A few minutes later,the other two cyclists arrived."Thank godness!Where did you go?"Mac held his two friends tightly in arms."I'm happy to see you again,my friend.I noticed a big dog running on the road when I was repairing my bike.And then we realized that it was a wolf,so we kept hiding ourselves until it went away.""Oh,my god,without these two gentlemen's help,I would be the dinner of the wolf."Finally,though tired,they continued their way and reached Alaska,safe and sound.(高分句型三) What an unforgettable experience they shared!
點(diǎn)評(píng) 續(xù)寫時(shí)注意以下問(wèn)題:
1.與所給短文及段落開頭語(yǔ)的銜接程度;
2.內(nèi)容的豐富性和對(duì)所給關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)的覆蓋情況;
3.應(yīng)用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的豐富性和準(zhǔn)確性;
4.上下文的連貫性.
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