Question

假設(shè)你是李華，星期天你要和你的同班同學(xué)李明一起去敬老院參加義務(wù)勞動(dòng)，你去找他，但他沒有在家，你給他留言說明要求，內(nèi)容如下：
(1)9：30在學(xué)校門口集合;
(2)帶勞動(dòng)工具(洗衣粉、理發(fā)工具、除草工具等);
(3)自帶午飯，騎自行車前往。
注意：
(1)詞數(shù)100左右;
(2)可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。
Dear Li Ming，
________________________________________________________________________________
Li Hua

Answer 1

a possible version：
Dear Li Ming,
This Sunday we'll go to the nursing home and do some voluntary labor. You were out, when I dropped in on you. Therefore, I had to leave a message to you. According to what monitor said, we'll meet at the gate of our school at 9:30 tomorrow morning and start out together by bike. So you should take your bike and don't forget to take some washing powder, barber tools and weeding tools so that we can help them with washing clothes, cutting their hair and get rid of some weed in the garden. At last, you should remember to take some food for lunch because we'll stay there for chatting with them at noon. If you come back,  please  

試題分析：本文屬于提綱式要點(diǎn)作文，要求學(xué)生就所給內(nèi)容寫一張留言條，這是學(xué)生比較熟悉的題材，體現(xiàn)了英語學(xué)習(xí)應(yīng)該注意實(shí)用性，生活化的原則。在寫作時(shí)應(yīng)注意下面幾點(diǎn)： (1)注意人稱，應(yīng)該用第一人稱的形式給同學(xué)李明(第二人稱)寫便條：(2)注意時(shí)態(tài)的正確使用：從試題的內(nèi)容上可以看出在表達(dá)要點(diǎn)上應(yīng)用將來時(shí);(3)注意恰當(dāng)使用連接詞，使各個(gè)要點(diǎn)間語言連貫，行文通順。但是注意提綱類書面表達(dá)不是簡(jiǎn)單的逐條翻譯，而是將所給的幾個(gè)要點(diǎn)合理的組成比較通順的語句，因此要仔細(xì)組織語言，合理安排結(jié)構(gòu)。在語言方面，要特別注意簡(jiǎn)潔明了，開門見山提出主題。
【亮點(diǎn)說明】本篇書面表達(dá)要點(diǎn)全面，語言簡(jiǎn)練流暢、格式正確。文章開篇提出寫留言的目的和原因，然后敘述主要內(nèi)容，用according to、so和at last等連詞和短語引出了文章的三個(gè)要點(diǎn)，使文章更具有層次感。此外，作者還用了目的狀語從句so that we can help them with washing clothes, cutting their hair and get rid of some weed in the garden原因狀語從句because we'll stay there for chatting with them at noon和條件狀語從句If you come back, because we'll stay there for chatting with them at noon. If you come back, 把要求和目的有機(jī)聯(lián)系起來，使文章結(jié)構(gòu)更為緊湊。