Question

某校英文報(bào)開(kāi)辟了一個(gè)專(zhuān)欄：Opinions。本期話題是：行動(dòng)勝過(guò)話語(yǔ)。請(qǐng)結(jié)合發(fā)生在你身邊的一兩件事情，如：學(xué)習(xí)、勤儉節(jié)約、保護(hù)環(huán)境...。以“ Action Speaks Louder Than Words”為題寫(xiě)一篇英語(yǔ)短文，說(shuō)明”喊破嗓子不如甩開(kāi)膀子”。
注意：1.字?jǐn)?shù)：120詞左右；2．短文中不能出現(xiàn)有關(guān)于本人真實(shí)校名、班級(jí)、人名等具體信息；

Answer 1

不唯一
We all know: no pains, no gains. As students, we should now try our best to learn all the subjects well so that we can be well prepared for the challenges in the future.
With the improvement of the living standards, many people are no longer interested in the simple life style and some of them even feel ashamed to be thrifty. In their eyes, thrift is already out of style. However, still other people insist that thrift is a good virtue, because our natural resources are limited and some of them even are on the decline.
The problem of air pollution becomes even more serious. So nowadays we advocate to lead a low-carbon life. My suggestion is we should ride bikes more often instead of driving cars.By riding a bike, we can not only exercise our body but also protect our environment.
There is no doubt that words are a good way to express our gratitude. However, there is something else that we can do to thank those who have given us a hand. As the saying goes, action speaks louder than words. We may thank others in actions, such as helping them in return, rather than only in words.

試題分析：一、認(rèn)真審題，把握要求，找準(zhǔn)提示語(yǔ)中的關(guān)鍵句。開(kāi)放作文需要考生根據(jù)試題提示的要求進(jìn)行立意，確定文章的中心思想。立意的基礎(chǔ)是審題。因此，考生在著手寫(xiě)作之前，要認(rèn)真審題，把握命題要求，找準(zhǔn)提示語(yǔ)中的關(guān)鍵句。二、依據(jù)關(guān)鍵句，草擬提綱，梳理文章脈絡(luò)�！　�         通過(guò)認(rèn)真審題，找準(zhǔn)關(guān)鍵句以后，下一步的任務(wù)就是如何安排已選定的這些材料，要為自己心中所設(shè)想的材料草擬一個(gè)提綱，梳理清楚先后順序。這樣寫(xiě)起來(lái)就會(huì)有條不紊、條理清楚、詳略得當(dāng)，使得所寫(xiě)的文章中心突出。 三、準(zhǔn)確定位人稱(chēng)、時(shí)態(tài)。遣詞造句要揚(yáng)長(zhǎng)避短�？忌鷳�(yīng)該依據(jù)文章提示準(zhǔn)確定位人稱(chēng)。在人稱(chēng)、時(shí)態(tài)準(zhǔn)確定位以后，考生應(yīng)將重點(diǎn)放在文章的遣詞造句上�？忌鷳�(yīng)盡可能運(yùn)用自己熟悉的單詞、短語(yǔ)或句型來(lái)靈活表達(dá)，但要避免單詞、短語(yǔ)或句型的重復(fù)使用。簡(jiǎn)而言之，開(kāi)放作文的寫(xiě)作思路和漢語(yǔ)作文非常相似。首先要明確主題，然后根據(jù)主題構(gòu)建文章的主體結(jié)構(gòu)，即寫(xiě)作提綱，最后在寫(xiě)作過(guò)程中要突出主題、層次分明。 第一步　構(gòu)建框架，清晰行文 [謀篇布局] 第二步　打造亮句，增色文章。
點(diǎn)評(píng)：由于對(duì)英語(yǔ)詞匯了解和掌握有限，再加上母語(yǔ)對(duì)我們思維的影響，寫(xiě)作中常會(huì)出現(xiàn)贅詞和冗繁的問(wèn)題。 贅詞是指使用了不必要的詞語(yǔ)。這些詞語(yǔ)只是用來(lái)“填空、充數(shù)”的，沒(méi)有增加任何新的意義；冗繁是指對(duì)讀者來(lái)說(shuō)不十分必要的信息，或句子中重復(fù)的詞語(yǔ)。 贅詞和冗繁使句子結(jié)構(gòu)松松垮垮，使文章冗長(zhǎng)、拖沓。因此，我們應(yīng)該在用詞上仔細(xì)揣摩，準(zhǔn)確清晰地表達(dá)我們的思想，剔除冗詞贅語(yǔ)，使文章言簡(jiǎn)意賅。