Nowadays, a cellphone service is available to
everyone, everywhere. Probably thousands of people have already been using it,
but I just discovered it, so I'm going to claim it and also name it: Fake
Foning.
The technology has been working well for me at the
office, but there are infinite(無(wú)限的） applications.
Virtually in any public space.
Say you work at a big university with lots of talky
faculty members buzzing about. Now, say you need to use the restroom. The trip
down the hall will take approximately one hour, because a person can't walk
into those talky people without getting pulled aside for a question, a bit of
gossip, a new read on a certain line of Paradise Lost.
So, a cellphone. Any cellphone. Just pick it up. Don't
dial. Just hold that phone to your face and start talking. Walk confidently
down the hall engaged in fake conversation, making sure to tailor both the
topic and content to the person standing before you whom you are trying to
avoid.
For standard colleague avoidance, I suggest fake
chatting about fake business:
"Yes, I'm glad you called, because we really need
to hammer out the details. What's that? Yes, I read Page 12, but if you look at
the bottom of 4, I think you can see the problem begins right there."
Be engaged in your fake fone conversation. Make eye
contact with the people passing, nod to them, gesture keen interest in talking
to them at a later time, point to your phone, shrug and move on.
Shoppers should consider fake foning anytime they spot
a talky neighbor in the produce department pinching (用手捏) unripe peaches. Without your phone at your face,
you'd be in for a 20-minute speech on how terrible the world is.
One important caution about fake foning. The other day
I was fake foning my way past a colleague, and he was actually following me to
get my attention. I knew he wanted to ask about a project I had not yet
finished. I was trying to buy myself some time, so I continued fake foning with
my doctor. "So I don't need the operation? Oh, doctor, that is the best
news."
And then: Brrrrrrng! Brrrrrmg! Brrrrrmg! My phone
started ringing, right there while it was planted on my face. My colleague
looked at me, and I at him, and naturally I gasped. "What is the matter
with this thing?" I said, pulling the phone away to look at it, and then
putting it back to my ear.
"Hello? Are you still there?" Oops.
1.According to the passage Fake Foning is
_______________________.
A．a(chǎn) strategy to
avoid people B．a(chǎn) device
newly produced
C．a(chǎn) service
provided everywhere D．a(chǎn) skill of
communication
2.In the author's opinion, in order to make fake
foning look real one has to__________________.
A．talk about
interesting matters B．behave
politely to people passing by
C．hold the
phone while walking D．a(chǎn)ppear
absorbed in conversation
3.What does the last example show?
A．One effective
way is to fake fone one's doctor.
B．One has to be
careful while fake foning.
C．Fake foning
may not cheat people.
D．Fake foning
is always quite successful.
4.After his phone suddenly began ringing, the
author___________________.
A．immediately
started talking to the caller
B．immediately
started talking to his colleague
C．put the phone
away and stopped talking
D．continued
with his fake conversation
5.What is the tone of the passage?
A．Critical. B．Humorous. C．Serious. D．Unclear.
1 A a piece of equipment which is